Today, my grandson, Benjamin celebrates his first birthday party. I'm really looking forward to it for several reasons. 1) He is a really cool baby and he loves his pappy. 2) I will be sober and interested in him, not me. 3) There will be cupcakes. 4) He is one year closer to getting the really cool toys.
At one year old, life really is all about you. If Ben could express in words, he might say " Wow, look at all of these people that are here to do for me what ever I want." And its true. There is nothing we (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles) wouldn't do for this child. How blessed he is to be so loved by so many. I think being loved makes people better looking. Benjamin is genetically predisposed to being handsome, and the amount of love surrounding him makes him shine all the more.
In this world, in this day and time, we tend to judge people by the way the look. It isn't right, but it is true. But in actuality, beauty really is "inside the skin". I know a lot of people who are unattractive by the world's standards, but are some of the most beautiful people I know. When you see someone who has taken the worst the world has to offer, who has been thru the degradation of addiction and abuse, that has chosen to let God into their lives, you are witnessing a chrysalis. The ugly duckling becomes the swan. As we learn to love, and to lose interest in selfish things, we begin to walk in the blessings God has for us. It is never too late, this side of the grave, to surrender the old and ugly, and put on the new and beautiful. God didn't make no junk, when he made each of us. He has a purpose, and part of that purpose is to love Him, receive His love, and to share that love with others.
Now, I will put on a pot of beans, eat a light lunch, ride a fine motorcycle, go to a birthday party, kiss a baby, kiss my beautiful wife, hug a bunch of family, and eat a birthday cupcake. At 1,325 days sober, it don't get much better than that. Today is the day the Lord has made, and that makes me happy.
Keep the shiny side up.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Riding Free
Today I went to "Men's group" at church. It is not Bible study, though the Bible is used. It is a time of fellowship, and a time to talk about the problems and solutions for men in today's times. I'm sure there are many other places and groups where men can come together and be honest with themselves and each other, though I've never been apart of a group like that until about 3 1/2 years ago. Funny how that time period coincides with my sobriety date. Hmmm. That is also when I began to practice rigorous honesty with myself and others. There was a time when what I said and the truth rarely met in the same statement. There is truth in the statement of Jesus that "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". This makes me glad.
Later, after a hearty breakfast. I rode to Ballinger with a couple of friends. One of them is a "new" rider, and he is just beginning to develop his skill set. I had to remember how nervous I was when I began riding a heavy cruiser. It's way different than dirt bikes and the small street bikes of my youth. Anyway, he did just fine.
There is something about following the front tire of a powerful motorcycle that is impossible to describe to someone who doesn't ride. The sights and smells of the open road are somehow heightened, more real, and personal. We only went about 150 miles today, but the renewing of my spirit was like chains of bondage falling off of me. It is often at these times when God speaks to me. Not in audible words, but in feelings, and in unexpected sights. Like topping a hill and seeing hundreds of wind turbines as far as the horizon, with one little old time windmill standing in that forest of giants by a small stock pond, as if to say "Look at me, I am your Father. Then, I think of my Father in heaven, and how He allows me to see the works of man set in the beauty of the land He created, and know that He loved me before I was a twinkle in my daddy's eye. I have so much to be thankful for, and must always remember that God has provided me with everything I need, and pretty much all I want. He really is a cool God.
Wow, I've been sober 1,319 days, and it keeps getting better and better.
Keep the shiney side up.
Later, after a hearty breakfast. I rode to Ballinger with a couple of friends. One of them is a "new" rider, and he is just beginning to develop his skill set. I had to remember how nervous I was when I began riding a heavy cruiser. It's way different than dirt bikes and the small street bikes of my youth. Anyway, he did just fine.
There is something about following the front tire of a powerful motorcycle that is impossible to describe to someone who doesn't ride. The sights and smells of the open road are somehow heightened, more real, and personal. We only went about 150 miles today, but the renewing of my spirit was like chains of bondage falling off of me. It is often at these times when God speaks to me. Not in audible words, but in feelings, and in unexpected sights. Like topping a hill and seeing hundreds of wind turbines as far as the horizon, with one little old time windmill standing in that forest of giants by a small stock pond, as if to say "Look at me, I am your Father. Then, I think of my Father in heaven, and how He allows me to see the works of man set in the beauty of the land He created, and know that He loved me before I was a twinkle in my daddy's eye. I have so much to be thankful for, and must always remember that God has provided me with everything I need, and pretty much all I want. He really is a cool God.
Wow, I've been sober 1,319 days, and it keeps getting better and better.
Keep the shiney side up.
Friday, February 5, 2010
I will NOT take you to the dope house!!
I don't think I mentioned in the earlier posts that I am a taxi driver/dispatcher. About 4:00 a.m. yesterday I went to pick up a customer, who "did not know the exact address" but could tell me about where the house was. The "purpose of the trip was to get his mom's cell phone charger" and bring it back home. The intersection he wanted to go to is smack dab in the middle of one of the major drug areas in town. I was barely polite when I told him that I was not going to take him to buy crack. He sincerely said that he didn't do drugs, and that he wouldn't lie about the importance of getting his mom's cell phone charger. I told him that the only activity in that neighborhood at 4:00 a.m. is illegal, and "it a'int happenin', bubba. Get out." He got.
I don't know why the drug dealers in these areas aren't hassled more by the cops. They (the dealers) are so obvious, it is pathetic. It looks just like it is portrayed on television and the movies; I kid you not.
Drugs and alcohol have destroyed more lives than probably most wars. It is not a victimless crime. I don't have a solution for the overall problem, but beginning yesterday, I will not contribute to it by taking customers to do their deals. I can and will pray for those people now and in the future.
I will, however, continue to make "beerruns", as they afford me an opportunity to share a little experience, strength, and hope that there is life after alcohol.
There are four people that I know of that have been clean and sober for over a year, that God placed in the back seat of my taxi over the past 3 1/2 years. I am thankful that God allows me to be of service to Him and those who have recovered and those that someday will, if they will become willing to "let go, and let God" do for them what they cannot do for themselves.
Today, I have been sober 1,311 days. But, who is counting.
If you love someone, and you know they have a drinking or drug problem, please don't wait for them to figure it out. By then it may be too late. Seek counsel for yourself, then confront them, calmly, honestly, and with the love you have for them. That maybe all they are waiting for. I know,it is all that I was waiting for and needing.
Thank you, Maw, for finally telling me enough was enough and I wasn't fooling anyone. If you hadn't confronted me that July 4, night in 2006, I probably wouldn't be alive to write this. I love you.
Keep the shiney side up.
I don't know why the drug dealers in these areas aren't hassled more by the cops. They (the dealers) are so obvious, it is pathetic. It looks just like it is portrayed on television and the movies; I kid you not.
Drugs and alcohol have destroyed more lives than probably most wars. It is not a victimless crime. I don't have a solution for the overall problem, but beginning yesterday, I will not contribute to it by taking customers to do their deals. I can and will pray for those people now and in the future.
I will, however, continue to make "beerruns", as they afford me an opportunity to share a little experience, strength, and hope that there is life after alcohol.
There are four people that I know of that have been clean and sober for over a year, that God placed in the back seat of my taxi over the past 3 1/2 years. I am thankful that God allows me to be of service to Him and those who have recovered and those that someday will, if they will become willing to "let go, and let God" do for them what they cannot do for themselves.
Today, I have been sober 1,311 days. But, who is counting.
If you love someone, and you know they have a drinking or drug problem, please don't wait for them to figure it out. By then it may be too late. Seek counsel for yourself, then confront them, calmly, honestly, and with the love you have for them. That maybe all they are waiting for. I know,it is all that I was waiting for and needing.
Thank you, Maw, for finally telling me enough was enough and I wasn't fooling anyone. If you hadn't confronted me that July 4, night in 2006, I probably wouldn't be alive to write this. I love you.
Keep the shiney side up.
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