Ben Franklin once said "Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five." I think this is probably true. I also think the "dead" can rise again.

There are many causes of death. There is fear, laziness, envy, greed, addiction, selfishness, despair, ignorance, duty, guilt and probably others. These are the things that come to mind right now. Character defects are a great destroyer of life.

I spent many years as a walking dead man, and the character defects listed combined to be my undoing. During these years I did not know who I was, where I was going, or why I was going. Somewhere along the way the passion for life was hijacked, and I was left with going thru the motions, clouded by emotions and no sense of direction and purpose. These years are blurred and in black and white in my mind, with occasional bursts of color and clarity. Somehow, religion took the place of spirituality; duty took the place of passion; envy and greed stole prosperity, selfishness and guilt took away my joy. Alcohol and drugs were the medicine used to try to regain life. But there is no life in addiction. God gave me the great gift of desperation which took me to a place where I could let go and let Him lift me up and bring restoration and rebirth.

"How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, and resolution enough to mend them." Ben Franklin.

In this one statement by Mr. Franklin, he summarizes steps 4 thru 8 of the program of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Even before Mr. Franklin and A.A. was the sermon on the mount spoken by Jesus.

I was resurrected from the "dead" 1,419 days ago. Today I am a victor, not a victim. Today I live in joy a life of passion and hope. Today I prosper. Today I love. Today I dream. Today I ride. Today I give thanks. Today I pray. Today I serve. Today life is in vivid, vibrant color. Today the shadows and darkness flee the Light that lives in me.

Today I truly Live.

God is always good. That makes me glad.

Keep the shiny side up.

Life is a drama

I've never understood suicide. Even in the depressions of adolescence, when drink and drugs became my friends, I did not understand suicide. I suppose the foundation in church and accepting Jesus at the age of 10 may have given me just enough protection not to contemplate going in that direction. I open the blog with these thoughts because we buried my brother in law David D, who took his own life a couple of weeks ago. He left behind my baby sister and two really cute kids. I believe he is with our Lord now, but his premature departure from this life, I believe is because he forgot who he was, and more importantly "Whose" he was. We sing a praise song in church that says " I know who I am, I am Yours and You are mine, Jesus you are mine." This is an important thing to know.

I've experience many seasons walking close with God, and even more separated from God. In the times of separation, it was always me that moved away or drifted away. God is always faithfully present. Each week when I open our Sunday school class is the same. I say "God is a gentleman. He only comes when invited, He only stays where He is welcome, and He will not take anything from us that we won't let go of."
This is a great truth, and it is so simple, it seems impossible to learn and live this truth.

In my journey thru life so far there have been many dark places. In those dark places selfishness led me to fear, anger, resentments, jealosies, worries, and other things which led to alcoholism, lying, illness to near death, and financial calamity. Having identified and faced these defects of my character, and surrendered them to an all powerful and completely trustworthy God, I no longer walk in the darkness. I live in an incredible world of light, and am amazed at what God has done and is doing in me, for me, and thru me. I look around at other people who are walking in the light after a long journey thru the darkness and we see the miracles that we are. I also see that darkness isn't limited to those of us with chemical addictions. The darkness can be just as deadly in people pleasers, perfectionists, low self esteemers. Fear is a deadly cancer that basicly stems from a lack of trust in God. I wish I could bestow the freedom I experience daily by just waving my hands or something. But it all goes back to the fact that God is a gentleman.

Today I have been sober 1,408 days. That is so cool.

Monday I rode to the Wichita mountains in Oklahoma and ate a hamburger with a couple of friends. We then rode to the top of Mount Scott, the third highest mountain in Oklahoma. The view was spectacular. I had to be at work on Tuesday so I rode home alone. Total miles was 523. I couldn't have experienced or enjoyed that 1,409 days ago. God is always good.

Keep the shiny side up.