What's my excuse?

Adam was henpecked, Noah was a drunk, Abraham was too old, Isaac was a dreamer, Jacob was a liar, Joseph was abused, Moses stuttered, Gideon was afraid, Samson was a womanizer, Rahab was a hooker, Jeremiah and Timothy were too young, David had an affair and was a murderer, Elijah was suicidal, Isaiah preached naked, Jonah ran from God, Naomi was a widow, Job went bankrupt, John the Baptist ate bugs, Peter denied Christ, the disciples fell asleep while praying, Martha worried about everything, Paul was a religious fanatic, and Lazarus was dead.

So now I reflect on the coulda, woulda, shouldas in my life. What kind of man do I want to be? I don't recall thinking about this at the beginning of my journey into manhood. I wish someone had given me a "boy to man" talk like Robert Duvall did in the movie "Secondhand Lions". I wish I would have listened, if the talk were given to me. I was fortunate to have a good example of what a man should be in my father. He was a hard worker, respected, honest, a loving husband and father. He wasn't much of a talker though. He was overseas during my teen years when I discovered the alcohol and drugs. But that is yesterday's news.

Beginning in those teen years, I had to be different people. The dedicated employee at work, the loving husband and father at home, the party animal with my friends, and the Christian at church. Wearing this many masks cannot be good for anyone, and it's by God's grace that I and those I love survived. I'm glad I did not have sons, as I would never want them to become the kind of man I was.

I'm told that daughters want to marry a man like their dad. Apparently my flaws were hidden well enough that they managed to marry decent young men. My Bible teaches me that we all have a purpose in this world. For a long time I was lost, kind of like a ship without a rudder. I've discovered that I need the company of good men around me, in order to become the man I want to be.

I'm really thankful for second chances and do-overs. Sobriety has given me perspective on the seasons of life and the knowledge that what's done is done, but today brings new hope and new opportunities for growth. I had no idea that life could be this good. This life is good because God is good. Today is good because God made it. I am not perfect, and based on the Bible characters in the paragraph above, nobody else is. God uses imperfect people to fulfill His perfect plan, and we all have a part and purpose in that plan. The trick, I think, to successful living lies in being willing to let go and let God use me however He wants to. I need to be honest with myself, and surround myself with good men who know me well enough to hold me accountable when I show signs of going off course.

Today is my 1,353rd day without a drink. That makes me glad.

Keep the shiney side up.